i will break down soon...

yes yes... i will soon.. i don't know quite yet... i keep acting like its okay everyday .. i smile, i laugh, i play around like nothing is bothering me.. i am holding in more and more of me every second that i am still living... -sigh- .. more and more the person i care about is hurting and i don't want to do anything about it cause i don't really care anymore .. because.. i gave up on him.. :P but i just still care and worry for him is because.. i know he could do a lot of troubling stuff .. >.< .. but besides that .. i have other things that are on my mind... the Maria i know is really trying to become something she is not... -sigh- slowly everyone around me is changing... i wonder one day i will change to.. to someone really dark.. and will never speak out who she really is.. all i will do is put up a happy face and i am done.. simple right?.. lol.. but yeah... slowly i am turning away.. to somewhere that no one [except certain that care] can see where i am turning to .. slowly... each day... i will still be me.. but the true me is still hidden from everyone..

waiting... for a day till someone stay by me.. and won't change a single thing... and continue being with... just one day... there is someone that is like that....