SNOW SNOW SNOW!!!

HAHAHA

Once again Houston have snow !!!!

But many people and students didn't get to play in it or experience the snow since some schools and some places don't let their students to go outside and keep telling the students that they will still see it when school is over. Well not really, by the time the students are out the snow melted.

But hopefully it will snow again on December 10, 2009.


"IT'S ALMOST THE HOLIDAYS!!! Spend your Christmas time with family and friends with a lovely meal, or go on vacation."


Q- Where are you going this Christmas?
A- " I might be going to Japan"


Q- What are you going to do there?
A- " Have fun with my cousins , then go visit my best friend over Korea"

That's all I am answering (:

BYE AND HAPPY EARLY CHRISTMAS!!!!! <33>

hey hey hey!!

HEY PEOPLE!!! O.O

Okay today I had a visitor and she is heree to sayy hey!!! o.o...

"nu-uh" she said

well okay she is maria as you all know that she is like the bestie that been with me through stuff .... sabby you to <33>

SABBY!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHIIEE YOUR CHEZZY (: HEHEHEH

WELLL HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEXY BEAST !!! <333>

HOPE YOU HAVE AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY!! EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT THERE I WILL GIVE YOU A LATE LOVE PRESENT HAHAHA BEING HORNY ! XD LOL KIDDING (: WELL ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <333

YAY!!!

well hello (: guess what?.. well... hmmm you see .... okay you know what forget about all that well you see there is something interesting is about to happen!! XD hmm well i am making another youtube account and i will be posting videos !! hehee I finally have my camera back :D and well i will be recording around the place you know xp well thats all i am going to say (: come visit me

and stay tune for the awesome videos aditionn (;

ye-ye yeah! XD

HEY!!!! well all that is reading this must be pretty bored or maybe.... just want to read this cause you care. x.x well anyways today i am so tired so this is it XDDD well yeah thats what you get this is all i will say get your lazy butt off the chair and go have fun!!!! (: LATERZZZ [haha ye-ye i am ghetto xD ] SIKE! (;

LOL day?...

today isn't really LOL day its more of a .... uhh grr i am confused day.. o.o but anyways today is more of a food day for me since i was eating alot !! XDDD LMAO i keep stealing food from peoples trays XD wow [yes .. i know fatass -.-"] but anyways besides all that i had a rockin time and my house got even awesomier lately hehe fixed up so many things!! XDD and by that i mean its AWESOME we have to buy this freaken big ass house which has 7 rooms!!! no lie =.= but yeah inviting people to come to hang with me there since i am lonely T-T HAHAHA SIKE!! i always got my neighbor he is awesome XD [personal stuff] hehe (; well all of that is okay i guess but well........... this is all i have to say for today is ............. i am still hungry!! I want to get chubby!!!! hehehe o.o and oh yeah today is also a uhh weird day for me is because ... I like reading..... READING!!!! don't ask me why =,= i started to read more often then i use to o.o lol but yeah it was awesome i guess XD well later! (:

WHEEEE ITS THAT TIME AGAIN !!!!!!



ITS THE HAPPY TIME (: I JUST FOUND OUT MY FAVORITE SINGERS ARE BACK (actually i been knowing but i was to lazy to blog and also to happy) AND I CAN'T WAIT TO ORDER THEIR FREAKEN NEW ALBUM AND POSTER MAN THEY ARE HOT AND I AM OBSSESSD <3333333333333>

I stand corrected

LOL well like i said i stayed home on tuesday o.o grr i was to sick to move and this is all i am going to say later people tired ....

Uhh

Today like I said, I did stay home. I felt a little bit better then before, REALLY better. But well I hope I could go to school tomorrow. Well this is all I am going to say. Later people, and oh yeah.... I hate drinking medicine. Sucks man!! >.<>

sick >.<

Over this weekend I turned really really REALLY sick. I don't know why but yeah, I had a fever. I don't feel so good at all it kept going up and down. 80 something to 100 something. I felt dizzy,headache, throwing up, coughing, and turned very weak. I was trying so hard to stay as it is to fight back the fever but I can't. I can't even type or do anything. I felt bad, but well I feel a little better now. But I know later on I won't be. I could be able to do this much, so yeah. Tomorrow is school, and I won't be going. I don't think I could even walk properly. But well yeah, I miss all of my friends right now. I kept wondering will I die, but it was funny somehow. I keep turning weak, and I can't eat properly anymore. I can't even eat at all. This year, has been a drag ; I keep being sick. Not fair, I think is because I didn't have my flu shot yet. But well, my parents told me to wear a mask. Because they don't want to get sick, and its because they think I have the swine flu. Well that's all, I miss you all alot. I am going to a hospital soon, for a check up. Because the doctors didn't help much. Well later. (:

oh wow guess what happens to day was the day was hilarious my brother is HILARIOUS!!!!! anyways thats all i will say since i am still lazy and i am laughing really hard!!! well anyways today was okay (: well i feel kinda bad for my brother since he is like.... LOL never mind well that is all :D

well i have to put something for this day :D hahahah well today is tuesday xp so anyways bye hehehehehehehehehe well anyways very bored

hmm today is another lazy day for me since my life is going wrong over and over ... but hey ! i am stronger to know that i could control whether to keep crying like a depress idiot XD but well anyways today is a little to..... frightful o.o but oh yeah the speech and debate tournament is coming up!!! YAY!!!! i have no idea why i am happy o.- but i am happy because i could try my best this time then last time (; no more games around with friends at the tournament :D well thats it hehehee tomorrow school begins again!! boo... >.<

OMG!!!! i just notice today was close to my cousin birthdayyyyy!!! (: hehehe my awesome cousin crystal aka i like to call FLORA!!! <333 wow she is growing so fast XD well hey today i am lazy so no good grammer crap muhahaha lol well anyways ... today i went to hk4 and i had fun (: i see more good buhhiess there XD well thats what i know of well my life is going okay again except about the fact of still feeling hurt by my family but hey ANYWAYS!!! I AM MOVING!!! yay!!!! <333 well hey i know alot of stuff today (: well thats all cheerful me out (:

My heart is now broken and lost....

Everyday and every time... no one seems to see that I am no longer happy.. I am not the same no more.... no one knows... I feel hurt,scared,confused... I don't want to be ... I try so hard to smile and be happy and act like nothing is wrong... but I guess this time I fall down deeper then I suppose to ... my brother is going crazy, no longer the person that holds my smile... and everyone else is no longer .... longer.... the people I want to see and make my smile come back again... I am really hurt right now.. everything and everyone around me is like drama all over again in my life... I... I... don't know what to do.... no matter what I do .. to keep up what I am trying to keep... I end up being broken... the sadness... is coming back... BUT THESE TEARS!!! WHY ARE THEY HERE !!! I DON'T WANT TO CRY !!! I DON'T WANT TO !!! PLEASE!!please.... everyone always think they have more drama to face then I do... the things about school,relationships... well I have many more.... a sickness that will never go away... and can never eat like I use to... and I can no longer see the things I use to see... my family is breaking apart 1 by 1... and I can't stand it any longer!!! I want to cry so bad!!! I REALLY DO!!!! PLEASE!!!! ANYONE!!! but well... I just want to talk to my family how bad I have been hurt and how badly I have to see all this when I am still a kid like THIS!!! ... I am more hurt then anyone right now... to see my dad sad because of a pop up in Vietnam.. to see my mom sad because of my brother... and my brother...mad.... the more I see the more I want to just .... forget about my memories everything!!! I want the times my family smiled and tell each other they will never be like they are now!!! I want them to share laughter instead of shouts.... I .... I.... just can't take this anymore!!!


my heart... my brain...everything....

Hmm all updates today

WOW, yesterday was AWESOME!!


10.3.09

WAS AWESOME!! didn't I already said that?.. lol but anyways.... it was an awesome day with friends and old friends miss them alot :( but when i see them i see that they have more stress lately with haters that makes me sad -.- because i was trying to cheer them up since HEY today is a round up with all old friends and new (: so why not be happy (: oh yeah and i met alot of new friends :D lol and as for some I made up (: no more hating to anyone :D so yeah... it was awesome

well can't explain anymore it was funn funn fun (:


10.4.09

As for today ... hmm well nothing new i am just here to talk about yesterday since i was really tired >.<>

Hmmm...

Yes, today I am back to school again. With all the sick feeling out the way now, I am feeling a lot better then I use to. But yeah, sorry I was having a chest pain and it made me kind of hard to breath, I also had a fever after that. >.< . That sucks a lot. But yeah, oh and also when I went to the doctor right after I got home from school (went home early), my mom and me went to the doctor. It took forever to get in the clinic room. Since we have to wait outside sitting on the chair, for a long hecka time. But I am just going to skip to the part where it sucks. Okay, I was going to take my shot. Not my flu shot, but my medicine in the shot. -.- . The nurse was a few, but all the others nurse work there for a while and the new nurse just started working a few months ago. So yeah, the nurse that work there for a long time, she didn't take me a shot. She had to teach the new one, how to give me a shot correctly. She shot the 1st shot correctly, but the 2nd.... IT WASN'T!. Then later on in the day. It start to hurt really bad! It couldn't stop hurting, and I have tennis to go play. But I still went to play tennis. Then my arm hurted even more after that. It hurt so bad I don't want to go to school, and it hurt so BAD! that I can't even write correctly or hold anything, since it all seems HEAVY. So yep. My 2nd shot was horrible! VERY HORRIBLE!. But well I could still type (duh!) but can't move around much with it. Oh it's my right arm that I WRITE! with... >.< . So yeah weekend BAD! this week starting off...BUSY!! =,= but its fun today, feeling better all the way.. sort of and making people happy :D well thats all LATER!!! (:

Everyday in life...

More and more in my life, that I know that a lot of people will disappear out from my life. It really sucks knowing that I can't smile like I always do when I was a baby. Crying for no reason. It really sucks.. I know my life isn't worst then others. But I just can't stand it. "It really hurts really bad!!" that's what I always been saying to myself. I keep yelling out my mom for help, I always say "mom!! it hurts really bad! please help me get rid of this pain!" I cry to myself saying those quotes to myself. I don't want this, even my cousin he change so badly that I can't recognize him anymore. I don't want to loose him either. Everyone that use to be so important to me, is going further away from me. "Why?" the answer that always pops up. More and more that I want to keep a journal beside me and write everything down, that is happening to my life. But every time I try to, I can't. I can't pick up the pencil and write my thoughts. It hurt so bad that I just forget about writing it down, and just hold it in and type every thing here. Does anyone see the pain I am in? really anyone?... please.. I know that not many people have the same exact problem I am having. But well at least they understand.. but do they understand it clearly?.. Later on in life I figured when I take down another road, it will be easier, but it wasn't it was harder. I said to myself so many times that, I will never see anyone that I love past away in front of me. But look where I am at now. Death is every where in front of me. Why?! I don't want to see it anymore. But when I tell someone this, they don't care. They won't listen, it hurt so bad enough. Why can't I just die, I know they wouldn't care a bit. Knowing the people that were very close to me, and when they are in trouble I am always there. But when I need something, they are not there. It hurts... really bad. The tears I am crying mean nothing to anyone. Every tear I shed resemble something. But every time I cry, all they tell me is "stop crying" ;"aww don't cry" , I heard that enough. No one would understand. I try explaining, but all I get back is. They understand. But do they really understand though?. I don't want to do anything no more. I try everything to get me busy and join a lot of clubs, so I could get away from these thoughts. But I end up thinking about it more. I really want to do everything on my own. Everything... I don't want a hand.. when I do they always let go at the end. No one can't hold on to me forever.

Death...

Today isn't a fun day at all... or any other day that is... I can't stand smiling no more... I just can't!!!
I don't want to be emo either, but there is a problem with me avoiding the stuff that can't be avoided. But everyday I see another person dieing. Then another.. and also my dogs.. they were the only best friends I had that never had problems with.. except the time they were trying to eat my food >.<... but well I love all those memories.. but why is it me... losing my friends and all my old friends is gone.. they don't even talk to me.. they avoid me.. what did I do wrong to them?.. some friends I just know don't even want to talk to me no more they ignore me.. I am hurt enough to see that already..but I know they don't care so why bother... later on in my life more things died infront of me.. why is it that I have to see so many people die?! ... this suck really bad... I can't hold it in.... even my friends aka close friends are also avoiding me and not even talking to me... I don't want to say their name... but I know who I am talking about.. so at school isn't fun either... no where is fun anymore.... my best friend .. she is doing great to no problems... but we don't talk much like we use to ... there is also my other friend who is very crazy and love to call her self a heo (Vietnamese meaning : pig) she is also having problems and I can't do anything about that.... it hurts really bad... but ... I am having problems myself, why am I trying to help others when I can't solve my problems?! I told myself that so many times.. but I still like to know what happen at least I could help them on something... Now I am thinking negative.... will my parents die to? ... I can't stop this!!!! why is it me... that have to see all of this... why?... but haha... i still spread laughter to kids and to my friends and others when they are down... especially those cancer,diabetes, and more illnesses from little kids.... it's sad that they can't live their life to the fullest like we do... it's really sad to see that... but they are still trying so hard to fight it.... I don't know why I am sad... since they are still standing strong.. but not how they wanted to be... but they are still standing.... I think I am sad because I can't do anything... except go to their hospital and just play with them..... to those who are reading this you may think bad stuff about me, think about hate towards me, or even dislike me... I know that even if you do that whats the point? so go on and hate/dislike me I don't care anymore .. unlike you I still do something in my life that I won't regret doing, and spreading things that feel uncomfortable around you.


Well I decided that my dream is to be like what my big brother is, a medical scientist doctor. He find out cures for cancer kids and other illnesses. He is always doing a good deed ... I always wish to be like him... but... hey this is where I have to try to reach where I want to be right?... so when Christmas comes I will follow my brother to got to Saint Jews hospital to give gifts to them on Christmas to tell them to keep fighting it... and don't loose faith on your courage... I will go with my brother I don't know how much money I will be wasting but I don't care.. as long as I see a smile on those kids faces...


No matter what I will do a good deed, but I know that most people think of me in an evil way... okay I am ... but I know somethings I will never show them the way to a good heart is... so while everyone is having a good time I have been going to hospitals to see cancer kids with my brother... it isn't very happy to see.. but it is very... encouraging to know that they are still trying...I will post of the pictures to all the hospitals I've gone through later.. since I always forgot to bring my camera.

Really?!

SERIOUSLY?!



Do you every think of something a that cause such a big eruption?

Well I am just here to talk about that today for me is okay. A little exciting. :D

Back to school are you ready?

I hope everyone is hype up about going back to school. Well to be honest I am a little, but not really at the same time. :D

Well go crazy on your 1st day of school everyone. (:

Take off your shirt and take a marker.
Then write on your shirt and say.....


"I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL YET!"


LOL! I am kidding (; I am ready for school and everything that is about to get thrown to me.


Well hoping you all have a wonder year in school. (:
Work hard!!!

Don't flirt.... much :D

Later!!

A foster child?..

I am sorry but this problem I can't help you at all.

Sorry about your parents passing away. But what I can tell you during this incendent. Don't be depressed the rest of your life. Since your parents wouldn't like that, they raise you to be strong and happy so don't be depressed about it. Now still live on with your life like you use to, with a smile. Even though you still have that sadness inside, but don't let it put you down. Keep going and keep living. Since you are lucky to even have another family. But others didn't , there are alot of foster kids out there that want a family or just someone to hug and tell them how much they love him/her. Don't be to sad about it, stay strong. (:

There is always a way to make happiness come back to you.

But when you realize it you are already happy, since you know that your parents and your new parents are there by you the whole time. Remember don't try to forget those memories that you want to forget so bad. If you do that then, it will hurt you. It tells you that they were alive and their to love you and raise you until you grow up nice and tall. So be happy.

Asian parents are really ...

Asian parents sure do have everything in their control.

Lets just say HECK YEAH!

Well I have a best friend who is struggling in this problem. Guess what it is.

[]freedom

[]sex

[]school

[x]freedom

[]sex

[]school

Well freedom is a thing that most all kids want when they grow up. Well let not say kids, "teens" is the word for it.

Most teens want to live out their life now and show what they learned.

Am I right?

Or you just want to live your life how you want it.

Well either way "teens" just want there way of living.

Okay having parent trouble?

Lets say they figure something out about you having a boyfriend/girlfriend and they made a huge fuss about it and say things that make you really sad inside, but also mad.

Well?...

THAT HAPPENS.

Okay, some parents go way off about how they are treating their kids. Treating them like they are still little babys that don't know crap. Well sometimes you got to take this and show them you are not like that no more, you know what to do. You also know what your doing is wrong. Many parents think you don't do things right yet and still not old enough to have "much" freedom. Well they are wrong, okay to be honest. I don't want to say either side is bad or good. Since all you really need is a very calm and non yelling talk. Sit down and just talk if yell then what the heck yell back. I was KIDDING don't do that just still talk it over with them. If they say it doesn't matter then don't just listen to that and don't hate them. Well how could you hate your own mother/father.

Parent said:

"Do you hate me on what I said to about that ___?"

I said:

"how could I hate you, you are my father/mother"

Well they do things that hurt you and say mean things to you alot but, hear them out they are still trying to make a living for you and they raise you hard.

BUT well SOME PARENTS GOT TO STOP THAT!

As in come on they raise us up enough to know what is what now. They teach us enough to know how to walk out on our own.

Some parents got to wake up and look at their kids now. They are no longer babys nor kids. They are teens, that are about to be an adult. Well if you ever cried about a problem like that about your parents taking something percious to you away. Don't you dare cry, even though it may hurt. But don't cry, since it's not worth it. What they did to you was wrong, and taking everything away from you and not letting you go anywhere. When you are going to a higher school.

But in the end I can't really say this to fix this problem to those who have faced this. Since I didn't really face it.

But what I did face is that, about my parents taking away my friends. The thing I learned is that never to hold it in and let them do that to you. Because you didn't do anything wrong neither did they. But when things like that happened stand up and speak out. Let them listen even if they don't want to or don't care. Since they are your parents, let them in with your life as well.

They are sad enough that you are growing up and leaving them with only memories.

So I can't help you. Sorry. But listen don't hate them or be mad at them. Even though they did say something wrong.

Days into life

Many things that happened during life is like a lightning bolt struck. But even though, that happened someone is always there to help. It hurts knowing that you don't fit in with anyone, remember that there is a bunch of friends out there. Family and friends cause pain don't they, like mostly everyone have that problem. Well I don't want to talk about that problem yet, since it will come out soon. Today is really irratiting, since I am having problems with my mom. She is really sometimes the worst but she does things that make me realize sooner into something. But well I got to love her.

Today was fun, but also hurtful. Well that's all.

Well is everyone ready for school?

Enjoy you day like the last day of your life. (:

Been awhile

Well its been awhile, since I came back here on blogger. Because I have so many things to do at home lately, I got my new phone of course. It's awesome. I been not that lonely much. Since chen, came in and said something that made me laugh like crazy. But everything else, its still in total darkness. Hey, there isn't much time left. So I decided to just be happy and think if I could forget it. But it didn't, even though part of it was gone. Then all of a sudden my freaken brother came in and reminded me of everything!! =,=

But its okay, since this is life. :D

No matter where I go I will always have to face it.

There is nothing the could erase that.

Even till now, I am still going. Funny how, I always wonder about other familys. When my parents "well prepaired me" its pretty weird. But thinking about it seems stupid, but interesting. Since trading life with someone, will make you learn something new all the time.

I have to keep on working on school, instead of thinking about working to much. Since that is the only thing I could do to pay back my parents.

Well I hope it could go to you to, that don't think that your parents don't want you. Since they "are" trying hard to. Don't worry to much about the fights ya'll had. Cause at least they will try to attend at your graduation. Well at least maybe "some" I think. But well keep at it. (:

Later people.

School Arrival!!

Is everyone ready for school? well I hope so, cause you know why? it's because I can't wait until school. But a little nervous, if you know what I mean. Well anyways, if you are having fun. Wondering if it will never end, well don't think so much about it. Anyways later people, hope you all had a fantastic summer so far.

Today was fun for me since I had my time of hanging with my brother. We actually went reading, but was distrubed by "people" =,=

Well later, (:

Iife sometimes can hurt you more then you think

Today I know more things about family and life. It wasn't easy to ... know all about that... but either way I am happy. Okay, did you ever faced a major family problem before and somehow you know more things then you suppose to know? Well, it wasn't hard to endure that is it? But I have to say it's amazing how I didn't cry.. I always cry now because of that stupid feeling inside of me, but to be honest I did have watery eyes. But didn't cry, I don't know why I am just letting loose of things. Taking things in, is what I am best at. Not crying is also a thing that I am good at. But hey, you gotta be strong on what you carry right?... But this pain is still in me.. I want it to go away.. but... it isn't going away at all.. *sigh* I am pathetic right?... yeah.. well sometimes in everyone mind, there is a question that everyone wants an anwser "Why was I born?" that question is the main question that people ask, so many people make mistakes about what they did. They always wish to go back in time to change everything that was wrong, but do you ever wonder that all those mistakes are good things. Try to learn from it, if you can't then try harder. Many things "CAN" be redo again, but I am not saying that you could rewind time; but everyone could start over. There is always alot of time, even for old people. Mistakes still can be learned, so take the chances. Don't give up, keep going on. Life can not rewind, but you could choose to start over. Even if you are in jail, think about it while you are in there. Bad? Good? look how ridicoulous you look, with all those guilt and guiltyness. When you ever can get out of jail, don't do it again. But start over, learn to take those chances that were still given to you. If you can't and won't undo/start over, on what you did. Then there is still more time for you, stop making those stupid mistakes. Like stealing money *FROM A GAS STATION* or even FROM AN OLD LADY, seriously you know that you are stupid!! Don't even think that you are smart,cool,hot, or whatever! Because you are still pathetic in everyway. Doing things that can relate to going to jail or even die, well some people could change. But they don't want to, you need to grow up! Stealing things is like acting like little wimpy kids. Shooting somebody also make it look even more childish, if you think about it. It's like a kid wondering around, then all of a sudden he/she starts to steal from an old lady. Then throw rocks at her to get away, or even push her to the ground. From there on, people find out about it. Then you got in trouble, get punished and be lock in your room. Well you think that was stupid? well yes it is, but that is how "you" are like stealing things. Even till now, people are still doing that. Let me guess for a living? Well so what, if its for a living and you could say "that's reality" well yes, that is reality. But you got to look where you are now, people are still working their butts off even when they don't have an education. They still try, until they get there. People call them stuff, but they don't care. They have a family to take care of or even him/herself. Everyone has a reason to keep going step by step, instead of taking leaps. The reason why I changed my subject to this is because, I have seen a lot of kids these days. No, I am not talking about little kids. But big kids, grown men. I don't know about their past and everything else, but they got to stop looking back. They have to keep going forward, as it is.

== Thanks for reading, hope this could help out some people that you may know.===

Starting..

Today is starting to be okay, but well don't really know. Since I hadn't start about the whole day yet, but what I do know is that it is really starting to hit me. I don't know what, but it's just there. you know ? well anyways, I will be back to update this later (: thanks for reading.


Okay, I am back to update this thing xP. Well anyways well today was weird and annoying >.< , since my big brother is really getting to my last nerve. =,=
But despite that, today was weird. I finally could watch my final fantasy in PEACE, since every time I try to watch it, I get interrupted =,= . Well anyways about my sadness, it is still there inside of me. But I am willing to keep going and not give up about that stupid thing XD . Hehe, I am not going to give up. That's all I am going to say, thank you for all the people that has read my blog. Even though I don't know you, but thanks (: and all my friends that I send this to read it. Thanks lots of love,

Rainie.piko aka jenny (:

Life is really turning into death..

Today was not really fun at all, it hurts a lot. I really want to smile again.. would someone just please lend me enough strength to smile and laugh like I use to again, please anyone. But every time I cry out that sentence line. I always ended up crying more then I use to.. I don't know why I am suffering this much now. Is it because I was holding it in? or was I not open enough... I don't know.. but I am tired of my tears running down my cheeks everyday. I want to do something to make my family happy again, but I can't no more... I'm always in my room crying and telling myself that I am alone ... Why do I feel so lonely in my heart? Why is it feeling so hurt and sad lately? TELL ME WHY?! .. but no one could answer it. No one could find the right answer to it no more, I don't want to lie and say that it's the right answer anymore. I want to say that the things you told me isn't right, I am sorry. But everyone that was giving me an answer .. they were all wrong. I been feeling hurt since I was small, but I don't know how I could still stand up again, and smile. Now I don't know if I could stand up anymore, since my heart is hurting but not breaking down just yet.. I am scared, lonely... I don't want to think about death yet. I want to keep living until I meet my goal. I don't want to quit, but there is always something dragging me down. I am tired of it all.. but sooner or later, the darkness that was there will hopefully disappear. Until that day, I will still stand up no matter what. But how long can I keep doing that?..

==Lost so many... and still.. going...==

Tears shed..

I am wondering who could be reading this... but all well. I am going to be talking about sadness, I heard a lot of things from people that they been having a problem and that problem made them sad. Well even though tears may shed, but remember that there is a lot more people just like you shedding tears as well. Don't try to kill yourself because you are so hurt and sad inside, there is so much more to see and to enjoy. There are things we all may regret, but think about it. We learn from it right? some may not, but try. When you are feeling down remember to think over what it is, even though it will hurt. You might have been dumped,back stabbed,lose someone,etc. There is a lot in earth that could make someone cry. Don't give up, keep going. You will see something that you never seen before, more people been suffering then you are. A lot of things already could have happened, so keep going forward. Even though you might look back once in awhile, but keep going. Don't kill yourself.

So many tears have shed in this world. Many deaths, that hurt so much. But in your eyes look at what you know that is right, not just only for yourself.

I for all reason have to keep looking forward, even though I lost people that were very special and important to. Known as a family member, I have to keep smiling and going on with my life. Since my future is still expanding, and some may not.. But either way I have to keep giving it my all, so I could not back down to something that I am reaching for. No matter how much pain it is, I can handle it. I am human, not a god so treat me like a human. Don't always count people for your need of help, try to independent on what you can already do, and make that something big. No one is useless in this world, there is much more people that suicide themselves because of somethings that was stupid. Remember time never stop for anyone, beg it or kill yourself for it. Life still goes on for everyone, like the sun and the moon it self. You see them set, but the sun is heading to another place to shine onto. One place set, the other shine. Look into what you have, and don't look for what you don't have. Cherish everything that you got, since you never know when you will lose it. Remember that "life is life" don't hate it, just learn from it and go on. Be strong and you could get through a lot, without depression. Don't ever forget the memories you had, even though it might cause you a lot of sorrow thoughts to depression. Those memories show a beauty meaning and a very important one at that. Don't forget them, that's all I am going to say. (:

Lost so many....

Today wasn't that fun no more ... since my pet hamster died today. I lost so many pets already.. my dog,my puppy,my hamster, and my fish. Each time I have a pet, they either died,ran away, or been given away. I really don't know why but, all this time during summer .. my heart been hurting. It's like a feeling of sadness and darkness. I can't really describe how it really is but, it hurts a lot, and when I think about it, it will bring tears through my eyes. When I have that feeling, it won't go away until I cry till the very end. I really want to stop the sadness that I had inside,but.. I can't. So I kept trying to force a smile when that happens, or try to forget about it. Really everytime this happens its like it won't ever stop for anything. The more I cry , the more I feel something that is about to happen. I have been suffering a lot lately, but nobody notice it. Since I always do something to not make it so obvious. It sucks crying alone with no one to hold me and say.. "don't worry it's going to be okay" I want to hear those words from my family and friends. I been hurting so much, that I have to hold it in all the time. I tried not to think about it so much, but it's still there. Some of my friends think they know that I am not hurt, and say that "I am not really good at hiding it". Well to be honest I am good at hiding it, I just don't want to admit the truth and just tell you "you know me so well" and that's about it. No one can really tell when I am sad or not, since I am still alone. Laying on my bed, crying out what hurts inside. There is nobody who could understand that feeling that I had, but they can tell me the similar feelings that are close to it. But there is no feeling that will hit my exact feeling.. but I am glad that there is no one who know how I really am. But at the same time it's hard..

Today was a memory to all my pets.

R.I.P

love you all... I will never forget you.

Youtube people!?

OH EMM GEE!!

So, I made a video about youtube people. Since some people don't know who those people are. *Shocked* It's very surprisingly, the people I talked about on my video were very talented people. I always will look up to them, since they are trying hard to reach where they want to go. Well check out my video, subscribe to them. They are super FANTASTIC! <3


scroll down and you will see them. (:

WATCH,WATCH WATCH !! :3
SUBSCRIBE,SUBSCRIBE!!

Well I will keep y'all posted about me making videos.

Upcoming videos:

- More recommended youtube people.
-Music video
-Anime music video
-Friends hang out *random don't know when it will be posted on =P but bare with me until the end (:*

Thank you for reading until the end. I appreciated a lot. <3

So crazy!!

Today was fun, well here is a shout out to people that I want to hang out with & ... HANG hehe.
sorry if your name is not on it, it's because I am not thinking of you XD or you are not that important XP

-sabby: my wezzy :D
-trini: my bestie (:
-nhu: my crazy friend xP
-kelly: my old friend LOL
-shiki: my mall friend & anime nerd <3
-angel: aka sakura - my sushi friend & book nerd (:
-CHEN: my awesome boyyfriiennd (:

Today I know his nickname and english name XD

his japanese name was weird though o.o

I will tell yall what it is :D

timothy aka timmy XDD it sound so american XD LOL but still cute (:
endo lol his japanese name sound very familiar to another friend of mines o.o but I like it (:

well that's all later people! (:

ANIME,MANGA,DRAMA,LOVE, oh emmm geee I LOVE IT <3
I LOVE MY BLOG :3 AND I LOVE BLOGGER HEHE

Today was fun! :D

Today was a day like no other, since there was no fighting and no nothing. I had peace at last at home, but then there always has to be another problem. It's weird that, every time I get rid of a problem, there is another problem. But well, today was also a little sad for my friends. Since they are having a difficult time knowing somethings. I get hurt by seeing my friends getting crushed by their boyfriends [broke up]. No girl like breaking up, unless you don't really like that person. Well despite the bad things. Everything in my family is doing okay. I hope that it could stay like this and for me to sleep on my bed in peace :D hehehe I am lazy at points XD. Let me have my crazy moment.(:

Parents?Riot?

OH MY GOODNESS!!


Ever been crazy about something?, that could make you go KA-BOOM?. Well here is something, parents (ring a bell?). Parents, could make anything possible just by saying something and actually doing it. I know a lot of people could get upset or irritated, by their parents. Okay here is something, do you have a bad temper and could never control it?. Well there is a way to make your temper stop. Simple. Just stop. Think.

Q- I did, but I end up being worse. I can't do it. I don't know how I can think with my anger still inside me. How?
A- Well it could be hard, but you need to try even harder. When you can, go talk someone about it. Maybe even go try to see someone you really trust, since it's bad to hold something in. Well this is what I do if I can't control my temper with my parents.

Saying wrong?

Q- But what if, the things they said were wrong. But they put more words that I never said, and turned it into something that make me go more furious about.
A- Well:

If they do that, talk to them calmly.. don't yell back or you will make it worse. Since, some parents like it when they are right or just want to know something. Keep talking to them, but in a manner that will make yourself even more comfortable or until the limit. Well if you can't hold it in then just wait, and keep trying to hold it in. Then when the conversation is over, talk to them and say about all the wrong things they said [respectfully]. Remember all the things they said are thing for your incoming life. The words your parents are saying to you now, will help you later on. So don't be yelling to make it worse, even when you don't get it, but you think you do, then just think it over. Still can't get what they were saying because of your anger then just, simply sit yourself down. Watch something nice[something you like to do]. Drink. Use the restroom[wash your face or something else o.O].

Then when you feel a little better, just go to sleep or just stay awake with the argument y'all had. But the best result ending of this is that, just talk to them tomorrow about it when everything is calm, or don't say nothing at all. Well this is all I could do [for now] about this situation.

Any question on what to do? and also to add to this problem?
Well I would like to hear from you and your feedback.

Leave me a message if you need any help on anything. (:

Depressed about family problems?

I know for sure that a lot of people have encounter this problem. I know that mostly kids get depress cause of family issues, I have seen a lot facing those sort of problems. Some people/kids want to find a person out there, who can listen and understand about their situation. But mostly they think there is nobody that could listen, and understand. There is a lot of people that's why we have friends. We make friends cause, we all get along and know each other well. Perhaps even love each other, your friends are always there for you to talk too. No matter what problem there is to deal with, they don't care if they have to go somewhere. They will put time away and stay by your side for as long as you like. It don't matter, each friend they are there. (if you have true a friend that is)


Family problems: Sure could make someone go crazy.

There are parents that won't let their child to go anywhere (don't have space or freedom). They are to over protected, but don't hate them. Since they do love you, even though you think that they don't know you much. But you are still just a child, when you grow up you will then understand what they were trying to tell you. Parents can make things disappear, as in friends. Some parents, take a way their kids privalge to have friends. Why is that?, its because they see that friends could make you change very easily. But parents don't really see (some) there kids could never change no matter how hard or bad their friends are. They might, but not change personally. There is a lot of things parents should catch up on, and kids should catch up on to.

But hey, everything happens cause its life. It still goes on even till this generation, really even though their is pain. There will be happiness at the end, but you got to understand some of the things that are happening.

a whole begininng ...

There has been some mistakes, some regrets'. But there is also some signs, that tell me that there is always a way to change something that you did wrong.

- Parents
- Sorrow/Alone
- Never heard
- Not doing well

All these things happen in everyone life.. but well, there is something to that. There is always a person you could talk to.. even though your parents doesn't have time. But there is a person to reach out to and talk to. Remember you are not alone in this world, there are so much more people/kids that have made mistakes that wish they never did it in the first place.. I was one of them. This is my story.. of my whole life here and from now on.. more things that had happened that had strucked me. So now i will start taking my steps over again, my baby steps that is.