BEEN AWHILE! :D

HI BLOGGER!

Everyday is another day with either a smile.. Or just a simple comment. :D
Life has made another path for me, and so much more. I am now taking the path where I am happy, and I am pretty sure I am.

I am not regretting anything in life, but just smile. (:

I realized later on that, I have grown.. Not just a simple maturity level. But a lot. I know now that.. I have many more things to take care of then just a childish matter.

My name is Jenny Nguyen.

I have grown.. To someone that can finally have a clearer view of her goals. Now I am setting off to my goals and dreams slowly.

every second i look up at the sky ...

everytime i look up at the sky and wonder how beautiful and amazing the world and people could be.. i have seen more and learned more like any typical girl would.. i seen things that many people never seen.. i have faced many problems that none of my friends probably never faced before... who knows... -sigh-

the thoughts are floating in my head .. telling me i would make it and see the beautiful world.. having the dream that my family will one day support me.. and one day encourage me... on doing the best i can... one day... i could see them sitting on the chairs .. and watching me graduate college .. i want to see it all... so bad... i want that... and i will believe that as well... but sometimes i feel like i am slipping... into... something that makes me out of courage and not strong enough to care for myself anymore... my own independence.. -sigh-.. i don't know anymore... i guess.. right now.. i really need someone close to me that i could talk to with my feelings... and listen to them... and be mature about what i am saying... -sigh-... but sometimes the people i talk to and telling my feelings to...they don't really care... they are just there... they don't give a dam about what happens.. i know they have their own problems.. so what is the point... i want at least one friend that could make me feel special inside really special for once.... i don't care that all my friends all at once is telling me "i love you Jenny!" and i don't care about that crap i just want a single friend that could understand me... and actually see the reason why i "could" be special.. -sigh-..

Crystal this does not include you.. lol you know you always makes me feel special (: .. but you are my cousin.. i want at a least a friend... lol XD so don't worry (;

-sigh- ..... when will that day come?... i always treat my friends the way the wanted to be treated.. i make them feel special.. and i actually do make them "feel" that way... but when will that happen to me?.. -sigh-.. i don't know..

i will break down soon...

yes yes... i will soon.. i don't know quite yet... i keep acting like its okay everyday .. i smile, i laugh, i play around like nothing is bothering me.. i am holding in more and more of me every second that i am still living... -sigh- .. more and more the person i care about is hurting and i don't want to do anything about it cause i don't really care anymore .. because.. i gave up on him.. :P but i just still care and worry for him is because.. i know he could do a lot of troubling stuff .. >.< .. but besides that .. i have other things that are on my mind... the Maria i know is really trying to become something she is not... -sigh- slowly everyone around me is changing... i wonder one day i will change to.. to someone really dark.. and will never speak out who she really is.. all i will do is put up a happy face and i am done.. simple right?.. lol.. but yeah... slowly i am turning away.. to somewhere that no one [except certain that care] can see where i am turning to .. slowly... each day... i will still be me.. but the true me is still hidden from everyone..

waiting... for a day till someone stay by me.. and won't change a single thing... and continue being with... just one day... there is someone that is like that....

wow..

Today i was pretty sad somehow... i don't know why... but then a while later i went on my laptop to go check my facebook and then there it was .. my best guy friend was single with my friend i was like o.o... i can't believe this.. i was somewhat sad ... i don't know i was but then again i didn't really care... awkward much?.. well that was about it :P i hope...

nothing really bad XD

well today is only the updates for the happy one :D lol go check it out lol and yeahhhhhhh

well a little hint here : "the atom i felt for that certain someone... GREW!" <3

I had enough!

i really had enough of my so call "best friend" i don't even think there is really any best friends for me...all i know is there is only some that i will call my "best friend"

but i will no longer say "best friend" i will say true friend since i don't know .. well yeah there was another drama between me and Maria i don't really care if i let her name here... i had pretty much a lot of stuff going on..

okay well... it started off in 7th period.. and told her what i have been seeing lately [been more straightforward] i told her that she have changed while i was away from her... she changed to a more bad girl, slut, and a wanna be.. like really... =_=" i told her all of that and she was like.. "how?" i was like "well it's obvious look at how you are girl! you never talk back to the teacher".. and blah blah blah etc.. then she gets mad and was like "why are you talking to me again then?" like really? she is the one talking to me again! all i did was say happy birthday to her [text -_-"] that is it and then she started calling me after when i sent that text so i was like "okay?.. why are you calling me? all i want is to say happy birthday okay?" but nooooo well there is something else to it! gosh! i am getting tired! i know for sure she will change in high school no doubt about it! by the way she is now i know for sure she is going to change .. i had enough with her attitude towards me.. i told her a secret and told her not to tell anyone and guess what she did! wtf! what kind of best friend is that?! i am tired like really.. i gave her so many chances.. i believed in her... i trusted her... now look what happened... -sigh- ... i knew this from the start..

also today...

taks thingy ...

Reading- Passed

Math- ...Failed...

alright? ...

today was drama...

that is it .. :P
idgac anymore lol .. always getting involve in something i don't want to ... -_-"

ironic much?

for someone o.o lol

yeahh i don't know i can't seem to forget someone inside of me ... :P but i don't want to talk about that now lol
go to my other account this message is for Yvette XD lol and yeahh today was pretty okayy ....without the strange feeling.... :( ... lol but yeahh YVETTE & TU! <3

did you know? ...

lately i have been writing more and more songs... lol and i have been spending a lot of time in my music room lol ... i have been writing happy songs but not with real meanings of happiness out of my emotions... the main songs i have been writing is sad songs.. i don't know why .. but i just do...

did you know?.. that i am still hurt somewhere inside of me.. i tried talking to my mom about it but it didn't go anywhere.. all there was is just silence... i am pretty.. sad... for some strange reason and..

-Crystal

-Tommy

-Trina

-Jennifer

-Yvette

-J.C

etc.. i know i didn't name a lot more of you but to lazy :P lol what can i say :P that is me.. :D .. <-- -sigh- .. smiling.. gosh when will it truly come back .. this is one of my moment where i don't know what is wrong with me and what is up in my head all there is just a simple...tear... i have been reminded of my past... and stuff or is it because.. of my high school life? will it turn out right?... since i think i won't be able to go to Taylor like i longed for.. i think i will be going to sharps town high school... i don't want to leave... seriously.. i cried over and over again that i don't want to leave all the things i worked hard on to be a waste for sharps town high school .. you know i cried about this situation over and over again.. nothing new... really... i don't want to bother my parents and i don't know how long i can keep my old address.. i don't think it will make it.. i am scared... really.. scared... the old address that i am using right now is used for me to stay in killough... and i won't be reciving anymore mails in that mailbox.. i don't know how i will be getting my report card.. i don't know what to do.. what should i do.... what should i do.... really... what should i do.... -sigh- i am so ... lost right now... my parents don't mind that i want to stay at Alief district place but they are worried about the address and the information they will be needing and stuff... i don't know what to do.. i am begging .. i am crying out to God to let me stay where i am ... let me stay please... please... i don't know what to but i think i will try to make it through high school somehow... i know i could make it somehow.. i know... i can... well... anyways... i think that ... by the end of the year.. will be the last decision of my life... weather i am committed to stay in Taylor.. or go to Sharps town high school... i don't want to go! that is what my mind is screaming right now... but i really don't know... help me...

my friends... we will all separate ....

Am i always hurt?

Wow yeahh i just notice that this will be an account where i will be putting all my depression and sad times here :P and yeahh the other one is a happy and update place XD lol .. anyways today was pretty sad because i went to facebook while i was there... well i saw the invitation that thaoiee sent me and i want to go but i can't because i have somethings to do which is nothing and i don't want to go is because i don't want to see something there i don't care that they are together now and stuff but i don't think i want to see that just yet... i know for sure no one could understand how i feel stepping into someone shoes doesn't make them really know how they feel.. its just a phrase where people say that just to see what they see not just directly feel.. but yeah... sucks looking at the status.. i don't care and i hate it when people bring up something i don't want to hear .. like Tony he was so close of getting hit by me.. like literally not even kidding -_-" he keep bringing up the time when me and Tuan was together -.-" he keep saying it over and over again like seriously i even said i was serious when i said stop talking about it.. don't talk about it!.. >.< just because we know each other for a long time doesn't make him know anything about me! me and him never even talk ever when we know each other that time only Diane and me.. man he so freaking annoying one day just one i will actually slap or punch him i am not even kidding! he got to stay out my business! when it comes to something about trust i don't give it out so easily.. i am actually serious! and when i say don't tell no one i mean it because i "trust" is not like anyone else.. if you break my trust like literally when i actually told you something important and you broke it .. there goes everything .. we are no longer anything and i will not speak to you whats so ever i will not even look at you even when you try to be friends again i still won't ever talk to you or even do anything.. i am that serious once i delete you out of my sight it will be permanent.. unless i actually accept you again then okay but it won't be the same.. i don't tell people much of my secrets or anything that has been on my mind.. the only time i can is basically.. talking to myself in the mirror o.o [weird right?] .. Gosh the one that gets me even more pissed is when people say like "i understand you are still not over that person, and you will find someone new" its like WTF! i don't like no one and i am over that person you are not me so shut the freak up! gosh .. sometimes realizing something is really hard.. -sigh- .. even typing something out don't really have any effect on healing me ... it just lets out all of my anger that is it.. and besides my secrets..umm.. even on blogger i never once put anything that deals with a secret of my life here.. ever! i am always looking for only certain people to tell it to... even when you did finish reading all of this.. you will still never know.. the real... Jenny... now that is the truth.. all you know that is real about me and still continues will be my personality that will never be a lie .. and the way that i am and how i act will always be the same the only thing that will change is my bad side that is all .. i am done typing.. and if you really did read all of this and even though you feel lazy and yet you still read it.. then put your name below [comment]

today was .......

bulllllllllllllll booooooooorrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiingggggggggggggg!! D:


LOL not really it was fun at the same time :D

that is about it byee going to sleep again xD

Friends again?

LOL yes yess

well today i finally realized that she has been wanting to apologize to me but she can't :P because she felt guilty and thanks Crystal and i kinda figured it was her XD lol so i guess i will put her name up lol


Maria and me has got back together lol i think the same time as Yvette xD lol

its amazing how we got back together on her birthday lol XD but yeahh she told me that she was sorry and she felt crappy for what she did to me i was amazed o.o lol

but anyways i am also glad to know that she still felt that bad when we weren't talking for so long lol XDDDD oh oh yeahhh



go to my other profile as well!!!


http://jennyy-spot.blogspot.com/

check it out! ;D lol i put my stuff updates everywhere lol i have less people know about that place so if you are reading all of this then i think you should go over there and put your name there so i would know who is following that place lol XDD

and dayum really a lot of people know about my blog?! :O WHOA! lol XDDD

well thanks byee ;D

Hmm..

-sigh-... is it just me or is there signs everywhere that is taunting me about something -_-" like really now? DX
[its been more then 2 weeks now about this "best friend" problem


1st i am having a problem with my friend that i didn't not start -.-

2nd one of my friends are having the same problem as me but opposite


-sigh-... but i didn't start this whole dam freaking problem! >.<
who the hell would get mad and start giving you an attitude when you are bored... okay i know people who does that but like lets just put it this way..


your best friend who is bored texted you and just want to find some time to not get bored somehow and while you were texting her back she started to have an attitude against you she keep cursing at you like "i don't give a F@!%$!" etc.. and stuff and blah blah blah then you ask her to stop doing that because that is wrong how she is cursing at me for no freaking reason except being bored -__-" and yeahh then all of a sudden you get into a fight with your best friend .. and then she just be like

"you know what! i don't want to talk to you no more bye Ex- bFF!" and i will be like WTF!? like i didn't have enough problems on my hands at that time gosh!

all my friends said that someone like that don't need to be friends with..

i could see that because i am the one always having to fix the problem even though i didn't cause it! .. -sigh-...


even though all my friends say that she is a B@!%, slut, A@!@, and etc.. but i can't seem to see that way of her... i know she changed a lot .. and she turned to a 2nd person which is not herself... i know she turned to one of her friends .. i think she likes the way she feels of being pretty popular now .. putting on make-up a lot .. lying about breaking her glasses.. when her glasses were perfectly fine and i saw her took it out of school.. and -sigh- ... she is becoming someone so different.. so ... i don't know.. to be honest i just want to forget and not care about her..

i really do but yet i don't see why i could do that ... i tried but everytime i see her i always want to make sure she is happy ...

when i say that she was my best friend i mean it.. i am always serious when i say something like..

"best friend"
"i love you"
"i will be true to you"

i don't lie about any of those feelings when i say that .. i really don't .. but to her i guess its just something she hears everyday.. and she thinks its common for me to say that to people.. HAHA .. no... i don't even say that to anyone i may play around then tell you afterwards i was kidding..

but anyways... i don't want to let go of this friendship.. i don't ...
everytime i see her down i want to come over there and make her happy like i use to ...
but i don't see why i have to be friends with her again when we are not going to the same school and we will be attending different schools and i know that for sure that she will change even more in high school...

so i don't see why making this friendship last is any better...


i really don't.... help...

i know some of you are reading this..
-Crystal..
please help me ...

-Yvette
i know you are having the same problem

LOL i just notice that !

yeah yeah read the title XD lol

okay i just notice that my cousin is reading this yeah i think some of you know who my cousin is in NY right? lol yeahhh... she is reading this i was really amazed XDD

and yeahh i told her to make a blogger as well so she could give me some advice or at least make one for the fun of it lol

but she told me no -.- [MEANIE] and yeah.... the TAKS math... IMMA FAIL! DX i was struggling! like really i am! >-<>

oh yeah and about my feelings today it's going very strange i care then i don't care o.o weird right? XD yeahh sadly... i am sad because ... because... i don't know .. SIKE i am not..

but i want to give a shout out to Yvette to let her know it's okay and stuff ;D

ITS OKAY YVETTE! ;D

Life..

-Sigh- yes there is another depressing day for me.. for some odd reason.. right?.. haha... well anyways i suppose to be happy where i am seeing the person i care about going with someone good and probably makes him happy :D ... hopefully... i don't know.. -sigh- ... WELL i suppose to be happy right?.. yeahh i should be XD lol.. YAY... yay...ya-.... -sigh- i guess i am not that happy because i am feeling sad inside...i don't know why o.o.. i thought i got over it! like literally i did! >.<>

WOOT! NEWS! READ THE ENTIRE THING ;D

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ARE YOU READY?! HERE IT COMES .............................. I........................................HAVE ............................MADE....................A................NEW..............ACCOUNT! yes lol well since a lot of my friends view my blog a lot o.o [never go to my profile and read the news there -.-] lol well anyways i would like to inform everyone of this news lol

i have been requested to like put up a new account for news about my making of "videos" lol so i did along with music videos and stuff lol XD

Check out the new web account/something for you all---> http://jennyy-spot.blogspot.com/

just to make somethings clear i will only use this account on purposes like... letting out feelings and writing out how my life or day is going lol XD and the other new account .. -.- i already told you all "for videos and music videos" well come back next time and thanks for reading! Remember to check it out! since you did want me to make it -.- okayy byeee ya'll tune in this account next time for the news i am about to update as well as some contest send away ;D yes yes its some japanese stuff that my cousins sent over here and i didn't really like the stuff -.- because i am not GIRLY! D: lol

stay tune for the upcoming contest :)

its been awhile... :D

lol i just want to release some of my thoughts here xP lol well i haven't been on awhile as you can see <-- :P but well i have alot going on .. suffering more each day.. but yet i keep them bottled up inside once again... but if i cry all of a sudden thats mean i can't take it anymore and just had to let it out.. well its been rough for me lately .. now i am dropping everything.. i don't really care no more.. but i still care for everyone around me and stuff.. but i don't really give a dam about how my life is going to suffer in pain.. <-- if you know what i mean.. xP but well.. everyday.. its the same.. but no one will ever know since LOL i am a good actor -wink-wink- lol i am trust me if i want to be an actor i could lol but i am only good at acting with my feelings that is it lol and everything else .. well.. I SUCK DX lol well anyways.. its been good ... SIKE!...


thanks for reading me :D lol
sometimes i do wish to become little again.. don't care about anything
only..
-school
-family
-friends
and no drama...

lol for you YVETTE (: AND KEVIN !

heyyy !!! lol thanks yvette yes it has been awhile! lol i wish we have our old times to (:

;D lol well anywaysss thanks for that awesome blog :D

as for you KEVIN LE! (:

I SEE YOU ARE HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE! LOL remember i am here to talk to you and listen but you never do that! >.<
I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE 4 YOU NO MATTER WHAT !

Like i promised (;

i won't break that chain! REMEMBER THAT MR!

lol well you know i am always here but you never came xp so i can't always lend you a hand XP but either way i will try to hunt you down! >D

BYESSSS LOL THANKS YVETTE LOVE YOU !! LOL KEVIN LOVE YOU TO! (:

LOL HAS IT BEEN AWHILE FOR ME?!! <33>

lol well the thing is i don't know what to do yet i can be myself or act like a retard right now but beside that everything is okay lol

hmm and also one more thing to say A SHOUT OUT! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! <33>

uhh and alsoo i had fun while on break me sleep ;D well i will see ya'll lataaa! <33